Just Can’t Work It Out
Here’s one for anyone of you who likes mathematical conundrums. I certainly can’t work it out (and me being an ex-shopkeeper). Right, here we go. I will try and explain it in basic English.
Yesterday we (wife and me) out for me to have an eye test. Went to this well known establishment that advertises a lot on the telly. Very good test by a very sexy looking blonde who gave me a real going over (for glasses you dirty minded people out there) and she recommended that I get a pair of glasses for reading and a pair for distance. My thoughts were, my gawd, how much is this going to cost? Now, here’s where the oddness comes in. I pick a pair for distance. As I won’t be using them very much I went for a cheapish style (£45.00) For my reading pair I went up market to the designer range and picked myself a really cool looking pair (in my opinion and that’s the only one that counts). I reckon I have to look good when I am reading my speech at my daughter's wedding. (£125.00) Then there was the cost of all the other little extras (£60.00) so, at the moment we have a total of £230.00. I am entitled to some discounts due to my health problems but this takes the biscuit. When I paid for the whole shebang the total bill came to, wait for it, £65.50!!! KERSPLASH BADOING KERPLUNK!!!! I was speechless. I looked at the receipt again and again. The girl said my glasses would be ready next week. We made a quick exit from the shop without saying anything. (Well, we said thank-you) So, what percentage discount did I get? I love a good bargain but this is a GREAT bargain. Even better don’t you think?
Another good experience whilst we’re on the good bargain front. I had to get our daughter’s engagement ring added on to the insurance policy. I phoned the insurers up and eventually got through to a human voice that had feelings and a brain. You know, the sort of voice that you can interact with not like those feckin’ machines that only tell you to press button # whatever, NOW. Well, another pleasant surprise. I was expecting some hideous figure, but, To get insurance between today and policy renewal in July-----------a massive, unrealistic, fantastic £7.50. That’s the cost of two pints or 30 ciggies. Seeing as I don’t drink or smoke anymore I think I can afford this massive sum, don’t you?
And yet another bargain on the shopping front. I, as in we, have just booked our holidays for the year. (yes, you guessed it, another cruise)(same ship but a different route this time)We needed travel insurance so rather than go through all the hassle of being so heavily loaded by all these insurance companies or worse still being told no I went for the company that I used last time. I looked out the previous policy and eventually got through to a human voice (see above paragraph). Upon telling them the dates and any changes in my health etc etc they came back with a figure that I had to ask them to repeat three times, digit by digit. It was nearly a full £40.00 cheaper than two years ago, and this was for the two of us for a full year to boot.
As I am sitting here telling you about all this good fortune I sincerely hope that you are all having just as much good fortune. It has all been great for me. The downer on all this is, I had occasion to visit my GP the other day due to a lot of discomfort on my side. He took a look and had a bit of a poke and prod. He noticed that I had bruising all around my middle as well as my side. After the usual questions he informed me that I have a broken rib!!!. This happened a few weeks ago when I had occasion to lean into our recently emptied wheelie bin to retrieve some magazines belonging to my wife. It was all my fault as I was the guilty party when it was me who put them there in the first place. In doing this deed I ended up leaning on the edge of the said bin. I felt something go pop on my left inside. It was painful at the time but I thought no more about it. Then, the next day I found I could hardly move. The day after that all this bruising started to appear. Seeing as the pain eased with the aid of some mild painkillers I didn’t do any more about it. Then, a few days ago the pain became more unbearable so I went to the doctor. Result, broken rib. He prescribed stronger painkillers which made me violently ill (the retching was worse than the broken rib) so I am sitting here with my broken rib trying not to bend over, laugh too hard, cough, sneeze etc. As Gloria Gaynor once sang ‘I Will Survive’ I find myself in that position.
Don’t forget now, any comments at all, even weather reports, are all welcome. Just click on the title above and leave your gack as per usual. Looking forward to hearing from you all, anyone, someone
Cheers for now
Posted :: Wednesday 5/12/2010 3:52:00 AM
